Like a maestro conducting a symphony, Roni orchestrates the placement of a giant sheet of plastic that she hopes will keep our yard weed-free through the winter rains to come. With all the work she's put in lately, the last thing she looks forward to is the green shoots of next year's crop emerging from our sandy soil. Photo by Glenn.
November 29, 2020: It’s pretty much a universal opinion that 2020 deserves to be flushed down the crapper — which is rather hard to do when your toilet doesn’t work, as was the case with the one in our master bathroom. Last replaced eight years ago, our mighty porcelain throne had been misbehaving like a spoiled child being force-fed creamed spinach, refusing to… um, swallow. But much like an ornery child that you love nonetheless, we chose to overlook its faults for years as it threw tantrums and generally rebelled at our attempts to modify its behavior.
This year has been a load of crap, and now we've got a toilet that can keep up with it. This is the new commode in our master bathroom (still in the process of being installed, hence the missing tank cover.) The wall rack is a convenient addition to the room. Photo by Glenn.
Roni fills the candy dishes in preparation for young Halloween revelers. We had fewer trick-or-treaters this year, but an abundance of candy to handle those who did arrive. Photo by Glenn.
Our jack-o-lantern is practicing proper social distancing, even if most of those who visited our doorstep weren't. We had to forgo a real pumpkin this year because they were sold out at the store by the time we decided to buy ours. Photo by Glenn.
The front porch is suitably decorated for the evening. Photo by Roni.
Our front yard cemetery scene is lit with a strobe light. The neighbors are away for the evening, so we aren't too worried about the light bothering them. Photo by Roni.
One of the jalapeño mummy dogs Roni made for our Halloween dinner spread. Stick a fork in him, he's done. Photo by Roni.
It's Election Day and we're waiting in line behind the Oakley Best Western to drop off our pre-filled ballots. This is a momentous occasion, as it marks the first election Ben has voted in since he became registered. We could have just mailed everything in, but we wanted to go to the polling place so he could see vote in person. With COVID precautions in place, it wasn't quite the experience we'd all hoped for. Photo by Glenn.
Chris Wallace prepares to make election projections as the first polls close on the East Coast. As usual, most battleground states were too close to call, but it looks like after weeks of litigation we've finally got our winner in the presidential contest — no, it's not Chris Wallace. Photo by Glenn.
We found this little guy along the brick path in our backyard, and no, he's not just playing dead, unfortunately. We get lots of opossoms in our yard, and we have no idea how this one met its maker. We bagged him and gave him a burial in the garbage can. Photo by Glenn.
Here's what roughly three years of weed growth looks like along our retaining wall... Photo by Glenn.
...And here's what it looks like after a couple days of intensive weeding. Nothing like doing your spring cleaning in the fall. We'll undoubtedly have to repeat the process next spring. Photo by Glenn.
Roni celebrates another patch of the backyard liberated from the weed infestation. We haven't seen the sprinkler hose or some of these pieces of garden art in months. Photo by Glenn.
Roni is determined to keep the weeds at bay this winter. She's been buying up landscaping bark from the home improvement stores and spreading it over plastic, as she does here near the barrel where our pear tree grows. Photo by Glenn.
Some areas are simply too large to cover with bark, but that doesn't mean we can't still smother the weed seed with sheet plastic. This is the area between Winter and Spring's gardens. We knew all those unused landscaping bricks would come in handy for something. Photo by Glenn.
It's the end of an era as NASCAR legend Jimmie Johnson retires following his final career race at Phoenix International Raceway on Nov. 8. Ben grew up during Jimmie's run from 2001 and through seven championships. His final season was spoiled by COVID, no wins, and a lack of fans in the stands to say farewell. But we'll miss seeing him on the track. Photo by Glenn.
It's a rare outing for us as we head to Brentwood so Roni can check out this mural for a story she is writing about the local artist, Lorin Baeta, for the newspaper. Photo by Glenn.
Baeta's mural features butterfly wings containing symbols of Brentwood's agriculture. There are carrots, asparagus, corn cobs and more that only become apparent when viewed up close. Photo by Glenn.
The idea behind the butterfly wings is that viewers are supposed to pose next to them for their selfies, so it looks like the wings are sprounting out of their sides. We just like the artwork, so we take our selfies at a distance to get more of it in the frame. Photo by Glenn.
Oh yay, COVID cases are hitting new record levels in California. Gov. Gavin Newsom has raised most of the state to the "purple" tier, which means more restrictions and business shutdowns as our nation tries in vain to curb this crazy pandemic. Stay safe, everyone. Photo by Glenn.
The weather is turning colder, and Katy is becoming possessive about her spot on the warm blanket on the sofa. That is her skeptical "don't even think about moving me" look. Photo by Glenn.
The Critter Vision channel on YouTube has become the most popular program in our house. All of the cats are intensely interested in the nightly action, and now we have Phyre joining Phoenix on the TV bench for a closer look. Check out those eyes. It's a little unnerving. Photo by Glenn.
Love it or not, eventually the patience runs low and it’s time to resort to tough love. And so it was with our young “John.” We gave it an ultimatum: either cut the crap and shape up or it’s time to ship out. Johnny didn’t listen, and so we were left with no choice.
One fine autumn afternoon we were at Home Depot in search of more landscaping bark for our backyard when we decided to take a stroll past the plumbing aisle. And that was when we saw it — a Kohler Cimarron 2-piece toilet with 1.28-gallon flush and an included soft-close seat. It was sleek, it was sexy, and most important of all, it was within our budget. We debated for all of a minute before deciding that because we had the pickup truck with us, it was time to take the plunge.
So we hefted the heavy Kohler into the tailgate and rode home with our purchase, trying to imagine the whooshing bliss of once again having a toilet that worked with a single flush. Hey, you have to dream big.
* * * * *
T
OILET INSTALLATION DAY just happened to coincide with Halloween. While Roni darted off to the store in search of pumpkins, candy, and fare for her traditional spooky dinner menu, Glenn remained behind to deal with the Johns, old and new.
Our tired little brat Johnny didn’t even put up a fight when we drained its tank, unbolted it, and lugged it into the backyard. We set it temporarily on the patio outside our bedroom door, all the better to look at each morning when we slide back the curtains on a new day. We have big plans for it, of course, that involve converting it into a planter. It marks the third commode we’ve retired to the great outdoors, so now we think we have enough to build a little toilet garden somewhere in the yard.
As for the new Kohler, it took very little effort to attach its tank and seat and get it hooked up to the water line. But before doing all that, Glenn assembled the metal bookshelf he’d received for Christmas nearly a year ago that he’d wanted for the “reading room.” For too long we had left our books piled on the toilet tank, where they inevitably slipped off and crashed to the floor. Now we have multiple shelves to hold such useful items as toilet paper, Kleenex boxes and, oh yes, books.
Roni had barely been at the store for half an hour, but the new John was nearly ready to go by the time she returned. It felt odd seeing it all assembled, because unlike its predecessor this one has a rounded bowl that is a better fit in our small bathroom than the elongated bowl was. Best of all, it flushed effortlessly on the very first attempt — no more playing with plungers. Good, Johnny!
* * * * *
H
ALLOWEEN WAS A curious affair. No one knew what to expect in the way of kids coming to the door for trick-or-treating; despite the holiday falling on a Saturday — normally a big night for the kiddos — the specter of COVID-19 had led to dire warnings from health officials about the need to stay safe, and we had heard via social media of many parents who planned to keep their kids at home or attend socially distanced church functions instead. Would anyone show up to consume the two bags of candy we purchased?
We placed our bets that sugar cravings would win out over health precautions, so we went about decorating the front porch and yard as usual while planning on a smaller-than-normal crowd. We wanted to do our part to be responsible, so Glenn (who found himself on candy duty most of the night while Roni cooked dinner) made sure to keep his COVID mask handy for whenever the doorbell rang.
It rang a lot. Or rather, we heard the pitter patter of costumed feet coming up the entryway to alert us to the next incoming horde of hungry munchkins. We used a barbecue tongs to retrieve two pieces of candy per kid from the plastic bowls we’d placed them in. That was to provide “contactless” distribution of the goodies, or at least the appearance that it was contactless so that moms and dads would approve.
But we probably needn’t have concerned ourselves with COVID protocol, seeing as how almost none of the kids who appeared at our door wore masks and only one or two parents did. Way to set an example for the young’uns. A few kids even made fun of the mask-wearing plastic jack-o-lantern we’d parked near the doorbell as a subtle reminder of the times we live in. And while we felt we were doing the responsible thing even when few others were, we’ll have to admit that using a tongs to retrieve candy is not the most practical way to hand out Halloween treats. Maybe by next year we won’t have to do this anymore.
Other aspects of Halloween felt more normal. Roni made a solid effort repairing the decorations in the front yard after windy weather had dismantled them a few days earlier. We had a little cemetery scene set up in the dirt circle where the front lawn once was, and we hit the tombstones with a strobe light that made things especially spooky. Roni also went all out on her Halloween-themed dinner menu, cooking up a batch of mummy dogs (hotdogs wrapped in bacon and Pillsbury dough), jalapeno poppers and “werewolf in the Waldorf” salad. Glenn passed on piping spooky music outdoors this year, but he and Ben sat on the sofa selecting movie horror themes from YouTube on our Apple TV.
And those two bags of candy we bought? Turns out that we could have been more liberal with our handouts. We limited everyone to two pieces, yet by the end of the night we still had at least half of what we’d started with. Now what to do with all those leftovers? Still, we felt good for having taken the effort to have a Halloween display and candy waiting for those who did visit us. A couple of parents actually thanked us for being open. It’s for the kids, after all, and they’ve already missed out on so much this year amid lockdowns, school closures and canceled events. We’ll take a little slice of normal anywhere we can find it right now.
* * * * *
"N
ORMAL" IS WHAT we hope to return to now that the general election is behind us. It has literally been months of chaos leading to the Nov. 3 vote, and even though much of it was probably to be expected given the level of division we have in our country these days, who could have imagined that we’d have a repeat of 2016 in the making? Or was that 2000? Or maybe 2004?
Despite the outcome, with Joe Biden now making plans to become leader of the free world next January, it seems that the election results settled nothing, and so we’ve sat through days of legal maneuvering and name-calling, conspiracy theories and alternative realities as the states methodically certify their vote tallies and America starts to look ahead.
The most significant takeaway from this election cycle — in our family, anyway — is that Ben cast a ballot for the very first time. Generally not one for politics, he nonetheless decided to throw his support behind candidates in our local city council race. He even chose to weigh in on some of the state propositions and candidates for Congress and the state Legislature. We have no idea if he decided to cast a presidential vote, noncommittal as he was, but we advised him only to choose based on his own criteria and not what he felt others would have him do. In the end, you don’t have to justify your vote to anyone but yourself. We’re just proud that he thought it was important enough to cast a ballot at all.
And when it came time to actually make those votes count, we weighed whether to drop our ballots in the mail like our state leaders wanted us to do because of the pandemic, or to show up in person at our assigned polling precinct. Being the traditionalists that we are, and that it was Ben’s first election, we chose the latter. The afternoon of Election Day, we drove over to the Best Western hotel on Bridgehead Road and stood in line with a couple dozen others for our chance to venture inside a big white tent to fill out an official ballot.
But because we’d already filled out official ballots at home and brought them with us, all we really had to do was pop them in a drop sack at the registration table and we’d be done. A poll worker gave us the option of doing that or filling out the ballot all over again inside. We kicked it around and decided that as much as we wanted to give Ben the opportunity to vote in an official booth, reinventing the wheel wasn’t worth the additional wait time. We used the drop sacks and returned home to watch election results on the cable news channels.
* * * * *
T
HE FINANCIAL MARKETS have been quite pleased with the election results, if anything can be judged by the meteoric rise in stocks this month. That and a series of positive headlines on a potential COVID-19 vaccine have helped boost leading indexes to record highs as our own portfolios finally are showing signs of emerging from nine months of hibernation. It’s about time!
We’ve been in more of a buying mood recently, perhaps because it appears we may finally be starting a real recovery as opposed to the one merely talked about since March. We picked up shares of NextEra Energy (NEE) for Roni’s retirement account, and acquired 100 shares of Palantir Technologies (PLTR) in Glenn’s IRA for the sole purpose of writing call options on this fast-moving data analytics software firm.
So-called “EV” stocks have been on fire this month amid expectations of green energy-friendly policies under a new presidential administration, and so it has been an excellent time to own shares in solar energy companies and electric car manufacturers. The only position of that sort we hold is with NIO Inc. (NIO), a Chinese luxury car maker that has been likened to Tesla. NIO’s shares have been on a massive roll this year, such that we decided to take profits when we were up nearly 2,000 percent.
We’d love to say we’re off on a sunny beach somewhere with tropical drinks and our own personal masseuse as we write this, basking in the glow of our newfound millions. But alas, 25 shares of NIO does not equate to millions, even if we did buy originally for $2.25 per share. But it did amount to around $1,200 off a $60 investment. Seeing as how we hope it one day does become much more valuable, we took advantage of a brief dip in the stock price this month to buy back into our position with an additional 5 shares, so now we’ve raised our stake by 20 percent as we continue along for the NIO ride, wherever it may wind up.
The trend higher in stock prices this month has also been good news for a few of our struggling put options, including Fastly (FSLY) and Boeing (BA), the latter of which we hope to finally close on next month if the share price remains above $175. This has been a much better than anticipated year for options trades, but until we can close a portion of the positions we currently have open we can’t touch any of the cash they have generated in our taxable brokerage account — and the IRS will surely not allow that as an excuse come April.
* * * * *
B
EN HAS A new phone. Taking advantage of an offer that was too good to pass up, he traded in his iPhone XR for a new iPhone 12 at AT&T, receiving a $750 credit in the process. It wasn’t the phone he was most wanting, but rather an upgrade to AT&T’s unlimited data plan that will allow him to stream video files while on his breaks at work. Apparently 12 gigabytes a month shared by the three of us doesn’t cut it in the face of high-bandwidth programming that seems to be all the rage with younger generations.
We were at the AT&T Store in Streets of Brentwood for more than an hour two weekends ago as Ben selected his new phone and we walked through all the options with the sales associate over a desk separated by a Plexiglas shield. Ben really wanted that unlimited data plan, but even promises of free HBO Max weren’t enough to convince the rest of us we needed it ourselves. And because Ben and Glenn had purchased their phones together in February 2019 under a 2-for-1 deal, if Ben broke the contract by upgrading his phone, that would mean Glenn’s phone would no longer be under contract either and he would have to pay off the remaining three months under installment instead of keeping the phone for free. Ben reminded him that Glenn’s phone had been free all along while Ben was paying for his, so it was only fair. Perhaps he was right.
We even looked at dumping Ben from our family plan so he could go in on the unlimited data deal by himself, since he was the only one who needed it. In the end, however, we decided it was cheaper to keep Ben on our plan, so now we all have unlimited data, Ben has a new phone, and Glenn is looking to February when he too plans to finally upgrade to an iPhone 12 Pro.
* * * * *
T
HE HOLIDAYS ARE at last upon us after what has been a crazy few months. Our new neighbors got their festivities started a bit earlier than the rest of us when they hosted a quinceanera for their eldest son on Nov. 7. Can’t say we weren’t warned well in advance, as they not only told us about the planned gathering with family and friends coming in from all corners of the globe a couple of weeks before it happened, but they also invited us to stop by.
Not to seem unneighborly, but we aren’t exactly party people and the thought of mixing and mingling with a bunch of folks we don’t know during their family function amid a pandemic didn’t seem like the place for us, and so we decided to celebrate with them from afar. That is to say, we were at home while the celebration rocked the neighborhood well past midnight complete with amplified music, karaoke and dozens of cars occupying every available parking space on our end of the cul de sac.
In the nearly 30 years we have lived here, it was without a doubt the biggest event we’ve ever seen on this block. But it might not be the last — there are two more kids in the family that have yet to reach 15, so perhaps by the next one we’ll be ready to party along with them. Or not. And in the same way that a groundhog seeing its shadow supposedly portends six more weeks of winter, the family seems to have gone into hibernation since their big day; it has been pin-drop quiet for most of three weeks now, which only makes us suspect that when the peace is broken once again it will be suddenly and spectacularly. Stay tuned.
* * * * *
W
E HAD A great Thanksgiving and have already been at it decorating the living room, thanks to Roni. She is no slouch when it comes to getting ready for the holidays, both with baking and making arrangements for gifts and decor. If Black Friday sales are off this year due to the pandemic, it won’t be because she didn’t do her part, making her lists, checking them twice, and perusing the various deals online.
She had Glenn and Ben out in the garage the day after Thanksgiving clearing away stacks of stuff to get to the pre-lit tree and boxes of yard decorations, as well as the set of Peanuts characters Glenn made from wood a few years ago. We decided to put up the Snoopy’s doghouse display again after it took a year off last Christmas season. Glenn is now trying to get inspired to do some new cutouts, perhaps adding to the Peanuts display or making some “nutcracker” soldiers to post at the front door. Doing anything that involves craft-type projects for Glenn would be a huge deal these days, as his attention and interests have been largely diverted elsewhere.
Roni decided this month that she wanted to get back to her creative writing, so she signed up to take part in National Novel Writing Month for the first time in several years. We used to participate faithfully in the annual 50,000-word noveling challenge, but it’s been almost a decade since our last time. The challenge begins on the first of November and ends at the stroke of midnight on the 30th. As of this writing, Roni is about 1,500 words shy of her goal. She’ll probably have reached it by the time you read this, however.
We’ll surely have more to say about the holidays in next month’s newsletter, so until then, be safe and have a peaceful Christmas.
